fieldnotes from the single life

He asks me what I’ve learned in singleness. It takes me a moment, but I can tell you the most important thing that I know:

God is good. God is good at being God, and His goodness is never tied to a person. It’s who He is.

He will be good no matter what. No matter who He plants in your life, even if it’s just a season, and no matter who He takes away.

He might take you onto the mountain top, like He did with Abraham, and He might ask you to lay that person or that relationship down, not knowing what will come next. But this is the thing: you might not know what comes next, but you can know with absolute certainty Who will be there:

God.

What else have I learned? Somehow it’s okay to both desire something and be content. They aren’t mutually exclusive. God gave us two hands for a reason: to remind us we can hold more than one thing at once and still remain balanced. So it is with singleness: you can both love it and desire a relationship, too.

And one last thing: you are whole. You are whole, fully you, complete, not because of your relationship status but because of who you are. You are not lacking because you go to bed alone or because there is no ring on your finger. You are complete. Live life that way. Anne Lamott writes that if you are not enough without the gold medal, you’ll never be enough when you have it. And a relationship is the same: if you are not sure of your completeness outside of one, a relationship will always leave you empty in ways you hoped it would fill you.

You are enough. I am enough.

God is enough.

And this season God’s got you in?

Hold your head up high and keep searching for meaning in it. It’s there. I promise.